Quite a few years ago, I wrote a very judgmental post. Possibly one of several. I was a young mom. I had two tinies, around ages 1 and 3. We were at the park. My hubs and I were playing with our children and basking in their happiness as one proudly showed us what he was building and the other was trying to eat sand. It was a peaceful time. I felt like a really great mom.
A car pulled up and two little children jumped out, I believe around ages 3 and 4. They ran over to the playground, ran back to the car, seemingly begging those in the car to come play, at least that was my assumption, then they'd run back to play, sans car passengers.
I remember thinking, "Oh, they just want their parents to play with them. Why don't they come play?"
I came home and wrote a blog post about how I hoped I'd always be attentive and how I hoped I'd always get out of the car and "be present."
I was wrong.
I have no idea why the adults were sitting in the car. Perhaps they were arguing and didn't want to do it in front of the kids. Maybe one had just gotten home from offshore or overseas, and wanted some alone time with their spouse. Honestly, it doesn't matter what the reason was. It was none of my business.
Not only that, but I am that person now. Sometimes I play attentively with my kids at the park. I'm a kid at heart and love to go wild on a playground. However, if I have an adult there to talk to, that's what I do. I allow them to run and play and fall and get back up again. I allow them to entertain themselves without me. I allow them to see that sometimes mom needs time with her friends too. And I know that I am mostly present and still mostly a great mom, as are most of the moms I know.
It's amazing how much our perspective changes. I imagine myself ten years from now seeing this post from an entirely different angle, and I welcome it.
